//in this bro writes gamebro and is the guy hanging with dennis in the magazine shh
You toss back another sip of whatever crappy beer your bro Dennis dragged over. You certainly could afford the expensive stuff but who cares. Free beer.
Dennis was already too far wasted to be called wasted anymore. You were mostly drunk, but still coherent enough to know something was wrong when Dennis slurred out an “aw fuck” and knocked the screen door off the wall. You threw down the controller and made your way over to him.
“Den’s? Bro? Man what happen’d?” He wasn’t on your porch. Odd. Where could he be hiding?
You find him at the bottom of the stairs lying crumpled in the dry grass. You both may have ingested your weight in alcohol, but you don’t let your best man lie there like a chump. You haul him up to sitting on his ass instead of laying on it, which is better you guess. He holds up his hand in front of his face. You notice one side of his shades is cracked something horrible.
“Dude…” You’re not a doctor but something tells you thumbs aren’t supposed to stick out that way. You were about to laugh it off but suddenly this twenty-something guy, your best bro, kid you’ve known since you were eight (or was it nine? Seven? You can’t figure it out right now but you’ve known him a while), is crying like a little girl on your lawn.
And you feel for him, y’know? You blink your eyes a few times trying to sober up enough to remember which pocket you put your iPhone in. You hold his wrist up and away from him, but he keeps flexing his muscles and screaming louder when it hurts more. Man he’s a whiney little brat when he’s drunk. You’re 2/3 of the way through with dialing the emergency people when Dennis sticks his face up real close to yours like Judas in those creepy-ass Jesus pictures.
“Kiss it better?”
“Please bro?” You can see half of his left eye through his shattered shades and he looks sorta serious.
And he has brown eyes.
Your last sort-of-girlfriend had eyes the same colour.
You place a totally ironic kiss on his forehead and he tries to shoot for your lips but misses by a lot and ends up for the bridge of your shades. Close enough.
“I’like you a’lot bro.”
“I like you too, dude. Now shut up so I can call someone who can fix you.”
“I mean like… like… flaming homo rainbows like you.” You should have expected that. Sure. Expected. Right. “A lot.” He actually hits your face this time, and dangerously close to your lips.
“Two out of five hats, bro. keep trying.”
And that’s how the two of you got totes wasted, made out on the lawn, and waited for Ron to drive Dennis’s bawling, candy-ass girth to the hospital.
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